We are happy about it?

Matt was here over the weekend, and aliens ate our eyes. It's all pretty self-explanatory.

Gastronomical

Over the past three days, I have eaten (in rough order):

• 1/2 of a deep-dish pizza (cheese)
  
• 1 beer (20 oz)
  
• 1 bowl of cereal
  
• 2 beers (16 oz)
  
• 5 rolls of sushi (30 pieces) (!!)
  
• 2 beers (12 oz)
  
• 2 egg rolls
  
• 1 order of pad thai noodles
  
• 1 order of mint ice cream (size: waaay too big)
  
• 1 beer (12 oz)
  
• 1 large slice of pizza (cheese)

Quite frankly, I'm surprised I even have a digestive system anymore. Time to go to the gym.

Track? Seriously?

Barack Obama's camp has declared young Bristol Palin's pregnancy "off limits" for the purposes of the campaign. Ok. Privacy is nice, and while you could certainly make the argument that the teenage pregnancy of a vice presidential candidate's daughter says something about said candidate's parenting skills, Obama wants this campaign to be squeaky clean, so I can go with it. I think, however, they are missing the bigger problem.

Who names their daughter "Bristol"?

I mean sure, it's an city, whatever. But I did some checking: Sarah Palin's children are named Bristol, Willow, Piper, Track, and Trig.

I guess as a huge nerd, I can accept Willow, and Piper is an uncommon but not unheard of name. But Track? Her son is actually named Track? And Trig? Of the first 10 Google search results for "trig," seven return trigonometry sites. Two are unrelated convenience stores and networking sites. The one remaining result is Trig Palin. I'm going to go ahead and say it's a fairly rare name. Rarity is not really a bad thing (How common is the name "Obama" in the U.S.?), but think back to elementary school and every "creatively"-named kid you knew. If you went to a predominantly well-off white school like me, chances are these kids were assholes, and their parents were assholes. Not 100%, but pretty close. It's science. That, combined with pretty much everything else I've read about Sarah Palin, does not suggest someone I want as a VP.

Because, uh, I was totally gonna vote for Walnuts anyway. Totally.

Open Letter

Dear Hipster I Saw At The Arch Today,

Just because yesterday was 94º and today was 72º doesn't mean it's "scarf weather." It means it's 72 degrees. You look ridiculous.

Thanks,
Bob

Bob ARRGH PET PEEVES

Hey kids, it's time again for me to air my grievances on the internet! This is healthy, I assure you. Fortunately, my grievances are often small in nature, and I can typically ignore them without falling prey to acute hypertension.

Today! On the pet peeves show: ungrammatical facebook status entries. "Real" examples:

• Jane Doe OMG her flight got cancelled!
• Alan Smithee is it naptime yet?
• John Q. Public is SIGN THIS NOW!!!
• Dennis Kucinich RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE TOMORROW/starstruck from the DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

I'd like to say that these people lack basic understanding about how facebook status updates work, but I don't actually believe that. They are just lazy. They do not care. Is it so difficult to spend an extra second or two making sure your status makes goddamn sense?

Of course, none of this actually matters. My complaint has no redeeming value as social commentary or parody. But that's exactly what makes it a problem! These assholes have turned me into the guy sitting in his basement penning a manifesto and preaching revolution on the "social networking intersphere" or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. I have become what I hate the most. Next thing you know I'll be "twittering" my progress in getting facebook to change their whole status setup.

On an unrelated note, I was looking up some foreign book titles at work on Google Translate, and apparently the "auto-detect language" feature recognizes Slovenian and Hungarian, but is unable to translate them. I like a computer program that knows its limits.

Mankind is Noodlekind

I must give "mad props" to my dad for this one. He randomly called to tell me today is the 50th anniversary to the sale of the first instant ramen. I hate to fall into college student stereotypes, but I really do eat a ton of that stuff, and hell if I don't enjoy it, too. I've even made some improvements to the process. Real Actual Things™ I have done:

• Once ate ramen out of large ziplock bag with tiny hole cut in one corner
• Once cooked ramen in original plastic packaging using only heat from desk lamp
• Once left ramen leftovers in pot outside dorm room door for 3 (three) weeks.
  

That last one probably wasn't my brightest moment, but you get the idea.

That post title up there is a quotation from Momofuku Ando, inventor of instant ramen. As a culinary innovator himself, I think he'd be proud of my tinkering.

Interblag

I changed some things. Perhaps you noticed. Sundays are so boring that I can afford to spend an hour and a half tweaking xml, and that makes me a little sad.

If you want actual content, here's a video of some tech they're working on at the University of Washington. It is hella cool.